Let me tell you, the process of selecting individuals to adopt a baby is hard work. I can imagine what it must be like to some degree to be hunting for a spouse online. I really prefer doing things in person. Since the person with the baby doesn’t have access to the internet at home, I offered to help do the search. I have reached out to friends, family, and the LDS Social Services website to find those who might provide a good home.
On the good side, the response has been wonderful. I am learning a whole lot about an area I really did not know existed. What is more, it is much more extensive, organized, and larger than I would have ever thought. Many have responded and contacted me and many have been culled from the crowd by LDS Social Services’ rules and restrictions. On a good note, I did find a cousin of mine who announced to his family they were going to adopt and his sister just happened to know I was looking for someone. We made the connection and are working to see if we can follow that end through.
Just as with missionary work, you don’t focus all your attention on just one or two when they might fall through. I spent probably a good six hours on the LDS website working through all the biographies on there. I think I reviewed every single one of them to one degree or another and have a list of about 30 couples that caught my eye and felt good. I have shared that list with the birth mother but plan on narrowing the list down to about 15. I just have to spend a few more hours in order to work through their profiles more closely. I am quite impressed with the variety of individuals though that are in those 30. I was afraid when I started I would only choose photogenic couples or younger ones. But such has not been the case. I think they extend to all ages, all sizes, educational backgrounds, ect. They are all over the country as well. I know there are another couple or two who are going through what they need to for them to be considered an option.
On the whole, this whole scenario has raised the profile of adoption. As I have visited with people it is funny how many people will not be available for this baby but are seriously registering so they can adopt in the future. So what might be a sticky situation for the birthmother here is in my view working some great things.
I will tell you, I continue to have some sleeplessness at night in concern for this child who isn’t even mine. But as I help work through and select parents to raise this child, I feel a certain affinity for him. What is even more interesting, I think of all the children who have been adopted before. How much time, effort, and money that has gone into each one.
There is so much planning and consideration that goes into place for any child to be born. But it is a whole new array of choices and decisions to make for an adoption, at least where we get to play a part in it. Even then, social workers and many people still work to make the adoption work. If it doesn’t benefit anything else, I know it has benefitted me. I have had to weigh all the options in the possilibity of us taking this baby. Then when we just couldn’t make that work, trying to work out for others to have the opportunity, help them to plan, and keep the birthmother’s plate as little as possible has been a chore. It has had its rewards though.
It truly takes a community even to bring a baby into this world. At least to do it well. It only expands from there. It is amazing the world we live in!