John and Elizabeth Quayle

Here is a photograph of John Quayle and Elizabeth Sharp and presumably one of their children.  Since I have the photograph, I thought I better make it available.

Elizabeth Sharp was born on Christmas Day in 1834 in Misson, Nottinghamshire, England to Thomas Sharp and Elizabeth Cartwright.  If you are interested, I have written about her parents, the family’s conversion to the LDS faith, and the family’s trip to America in her brother’s short biography, Sharp-Bailey Wedding.

Siblings William and Isabella continued west with a LDS wagon train and Elizabeth stayed behind with her brother James in St Louis.  Elizabeth’s mother died in St. Louis shortly after arriving.  Elizabeth and James did not join the LDS faith with their mother (Elizabeth), William, and Isabella.

Elizabeth married John Quayle who was a shoemaker and born 14 March 1833 in Kirkham, Isle of Man.  I have not been able to find this town, so either it is a mistake or misspelling.  The 1860 Census has the family living in Meramec, St Louis, Missouri.  1870 places them in Central, St Louis, Missouri.  1880 finally places the family back in St Louis, Missouri, where both of them died.  By the 1880 Census, John had become a foreman in a pork house, probably the pork house of his brother-in-law James.  I have a photo of James and his short biography will be available soon.  The family seemed to have some difficulty informing the census takers because their ages jump pretty wildly from the right year to up to nine years in difference.  Further, John Quayle is listed as Isle of Man in one, Wales in another, and even Missouri in another.  We are pretty confident in the date given above, but it is not perfectly sure.

John and Elizabeth have seven children that we are aware of, some believe there is another named Thomas but we cannot link him with any clear documentation.

John Quayle (Jr) was born 5 November 1855 in Illinois and died 13 May 1910 in St. Louis.  He was buried on the 15th in the New St. Marcus Cemetery in St. Louis.  He married Laura Breitenstein 19 June 1833 in St. Louis.

James H Quayle was born 15 February 1858 in St. Louis and 6 September 1864 in St. Louis.  He is buried in the Bellefontaine Cemetery in St. Louis.

Isabella Quayle was born October 1861 in St. Louis and died 12 September 1864 in St. Louis.  She is also buried in Bellefontaine Cemetery.

Margaret Quayle was born July 1864 in St. Louis and died 25 April 1866 in St. Louis.  She is also buried in Bellefontaine Cemetery.

Ida Quayle was born in 1867 and died 13 November 1888.    We do not know much more.

Emily Quayle, also apparently called Emma on some records, was born 29 January 1868 in St. Louis and died 1 February 1928 in St. Louis.  She was buried on the 3rd in St. Marcus Cemetery.  She married Gustavus Crause.

Elizabeth Quayle was born December 1870.  She married William Duggan.  We do not know much else about this family besides this little bit shared with family near the early 1900′s.  She died 25 June 1903 in St. Louis.

In 1878 the family lived at 1286 S 8th St in St Louis.  In 1880 they were living at 1727 Decatur in St. Louis.

John died in 1894 after falling off a load of hay.  We do not know much more than this and it does not appear he is buried with the rest of the family in Bellefontaine Cemetery, if so, it is misspelled or under another name.

Elizabeth lived with her daughter Elizabeth, known as Lizzie to differentiate, until her passing.  Elizabeth died of typhoid fever 6 November 1902 in St. Louis.  She was buried the next day in Bellefontaine.

Ode to Grandma Ross

Gladys and Maxine; ages 5 and 3 (1927)

Since Grandma would have been 90 today, I thought I would put together a couple of memories of her to commemorate her birthday.  Not so much a biography, just more of my personal memories and a couple of pictures through the decades of her life.  Gladys Maxine Donaldson was born 20 September 1921 in Ogden, Weber, Utah.  I have written of her parents, David and Dena Donaldson, previously.

1939

Grandma married Milo James Ross 4 April 1942 in Ogden.  I have written some of their history at the following link: Ross-Donaldson Wedding.  Milo and Gladys had three children; Milo in 1943 (my father), Judy in 1946, and Caroline in 1948.

Milo and Gladys, 1943

I think the following photo was taken on the steps of Grandma’s parent’s home on Wall Avenue in Ogden.  I believe this photograph was taken the day of Glady’s father’s funeral.  The little girls are Caroline (left) and Judy (right).

Caroline, Gladys, and Judy about 1953

Here is a picture of Grandpa and Grandma in front of their home (built by Grandpa in 1955).  If you look closely, you can see the back of them in the window.

1961

Here is a more formal photograph of Grandpa and Grandma.  I do not know the occasion.

Milo and Gladys in the 1960′s

Another one.

Abt 1976

I think this is the first photo I have with my Grandma.  I do not know exactly how old I am, but I am most likely under 2 years old.  Since I grew up in Idaho, I only got to see my Grandparents once or twice a year.  In this picture, I do not seem too sure of the lady on the bike!

Paul and Gladys, about 1981

I do not recall what the occasion was for this picture but we were dressed up for something.  I do not recognize the building.

Paul, Gladys, and Andra in 1985

In 1992 when I received my Eagle Scout, my mom refused to step into an LDS church where the Court of Honor was held.  Dad invited Grandma to stand in for my Mom.  Mom arrived around the time of this photo in her thermal overalls and was royally upset and offended not only that my Grandparents were there, but that Grandma took her place.  Either way, it was a great honour to my Grandparents, especially in light of the history between my Grandparents and Mom.

Paul, Gladys, Milo (Jr) in 1992

In 1997, I moved to Logan, Utah to attend Utah State University.  Since I lived so much closer, I made an effort to visit my Grandparents at least once a month or so.  Typically it was not hard as I could catch a ride with someone passing through to another location.  Grandma was always very kind and would repeatedly remind me how much she loved me and that there was always a bed for me to sleep in if I wished to spend the night.  As her mind started to slip after Aunt Judy’s death the next year, she would often repeat the same two phrases at least every 15 minutes.  While they were the repetitions of an old lady, I still recognized that they came from the heart of my Grandmother who dearly loved me.  She knew me, loved me, and only had two phrases in which to express that in her mental infirmity.  I now feel her love over and over again with the phrases, although at the time they were sometimes annoyances.

I have to share a quick story at this point.  I had just come home my mission in England in December 2000.  I had not been home very long when I visited Utah again with my friend Dustin McClellan.  I was given some gifts and homemade soap to drop off at Grandpa and Grandma’s in Plain City.  Dustin and I stopped and we were visiting when Grandma left the room announcing she would cut up some fudge and bring it out.  Grandma came into the room and I turned down the fudge (I try to avoid sweets).  Grandpa took a piece and Dustin took a healthy portion.  Dustin put most of it in his mouth and when Grandpa took a bite he exclaimed that the fudge was soap.  Grandma had cut up the soap we brought as a gift thinking it was fudge!  The look on Dustin’s face was clearly a man who had taken a mouth of fudge and was completely disgusted and deceived but did not want to let anyone know lest he offend my Grandma.  Grandpa had to take the soap from Grandma who was about to eat a piece despite the warning.  Dustin who was nearly foaming at the mouth from the soap excused himself to wash out his mouth.  We still laugh about this episode now, 10 years on.

Another episode occurred in 2001, probably around September.  I was driving through with a friend, Kevin Orton, for business and I convinced him to pay a stop on my Grandparents.  It was a fairly routine visit and Grandpa invited Kevin and me to go out back to visit his large garden.  Grandma walked with us and after a while we all retired to the back porch to sit a while.  Grandma went in to the house after offering us all a drink.  Grandpa went after her because she was so forgetful (to the point that he was concerned about her safety when cooking).  She opened the door, walked in, and Grandpa caught the screen door as it was closing.  Grandma turned and exclaimed, “Don’t touch my damn door!”  Grandpa jumped back, let the door close, and Grandma closed the door behind.  Right before she closed the door all the way though, she spoke softly, “I love you honey.”  She then closed the door and we heard it lock!  Kevin and I laughed and laughed about the whole scene.  Even years later he will randomly reference this experience.

Here is a great picture of Grandma at her 60th wedding anniversary.  She looked great but her memory was pretty much gone and I think she was lost half the time she was there.

2002

Jennie Britzman, Grandma’s first cousin, came to visit and this picture was snapped.  Grandpa was Grandma’s full-time caretaker by this point (Grandpa and Grandma were both about 82) and they rarely strayed far from home.

Jennie Britzman and Gladys, 2003

I believe this is the last photograph I have taken of Grandma before she passed away.  Grandpa looks younger and Grandma looks happy.

Grandpa and Grandma in 2004

Grandma died 25 August 2004 in the new McKay-Dee Hospital in Ogden.  Her funeral and burial took place in Plain City on 25 August 2004.  Happy Birthday Grandma, I look forward to seeing you again.

Sons of Joseph and Isabella Carlisle

Standing(l-r): Harve Carlisle, Frank Carlisle. Sitting: Fred Carlisle, Joe Carlisle, Jim Carlisle.

I thought I would share this photo because I have it and do not know how many others do.  This is the five sons of Isabella Sharp and Joseph Carlisle.  Isabella is the sister to my William Sharp, who I have written about previously at this link: Sharp-Bailey Wedding.  Here are some of the details of the family, but I do not really know much more.  They have a pretty large family with plenty of family historians so I will let them write the Carlisle history (which I know they have probably already done)

Joseph Carlisle was born 21 July 1826 in Sherwood on the Hill, Nottinghamshire, England and died 17 March 1912 in Millcreek, Salt Lake, Utah.

Isabella Sharp was born 22 December 1831 in Misson, Nottinghamshire, England and died 29 March 1904 in Salt Lake City, Salt Lake, Utah.  If you search her brother, mentioned above, you can read more about her parents and family.

Joseph and Isabella were married 18 May 1853 in St. Louis, St. Louis, Missouri.

Joseph Richard Carlisle was born 19 December 1854 in Millcreek and died 2 April 1935 in Salt Lake City.  He married Lily Naomi Titcomb 29 November 1853 in Salt Lake City in the Endowment House.

Isabella Jane Carlisle was born 12 April 1857 in Salt Lake City and died 1 April 1928 in Salt Lake City.  She married Joseph William Walters 3 January 1875 in the Endowment House.

Thomas Matthew Carlisle was born 12 April 1857 in Salt Lake City and died 10 March 1869 in Millcreek.

James Sharp Carlisle was born 4 September 1859 in Millcreek and died 2 December 1938 in Millcreek.  He married Keturah White 11 February 1885 in Logan, Cache, Utah in the Logan Temple.

Ezra Taylor Carlisle was born 14 August 1861 in Millcreek and died 12 February 1862 in Millcreek.

Elizabeth Ann Carlisle was born 24 November 1862 in Millcreek and died 6 November 1881 in Millcreek.  She was engaged to married John Calder Mackay and obviously died before that marriage could take place.  On 21 December 1881 in St. George, Washington, Utah Isabella performed Elizabeth’s eternal ordinances in the St. George Temple.  Isabella also stood in as proxy as Elizabeth was sealed to John Mackay, who accompanied Isabella to St. George.

William Frederick Carlisle was born 14 November 1864 in Millcreek and died 5 January 1922 in Millcreek.  He married Sarah Ann Rogers 23 December 1897 in the Salt Lake Temple.

Harvey Cartwright Carlisle was born 22 September 1866 in Millcreek and died 3 July 1935 in Holladay, Salt Lake, Utah.  He married Lucy Carline Cahoon 21 January 1891 in the Logan Temple.  After her death he married Amelia Annie Towler 16 January 1901 in the Salt Lake Temple.  After her death he married Emily Steven McDonald 19 July 1923 in the Salt Lake Temple.

Herbert Towle Carlisle was born 23 August 1868 in Millcreek and died 25 October 1870 in Millcreek.

Orman Carlisle was born 8 May 1871 in Millcreek and died 9 May 1871 in Millcreek.

Carrie Brown Carlisle was born 18 November 1872 in Millcreek and died 15 July 1873 in Millcreek.

Ether Franklin Carlisle was born 11 September 1873 in Millcreek and died 4 May 1915 in Salt Lake City.  He married Maude Miller Harman 10 November 1897 in the Salt Lake Temple.

Rosamond Pearl Carlisle was born 29 July 1875 in Millcreek and died 13 June 1921 in Murray, Salt Lake, Utah.  She married Uriah George Miller 19 February 1902 in the Salt Lake Temple.

The family certainly lost quite a few children.  But all those who lived to marry did so in a LDS temple, or its equivalent at the time.

Sharp – Bailey Wedding

James and the late Sarah Goodlad Bailey are pleased to announce the marriage of their daughter Mary Ann Bailey to William Sharp, son of Thomas and Elizabeth Cartwright Sharp.  William and Mary Ann were married at Loup Fork, Howard, Nebraska on 10 July 1853.

William is a farmer and mason and they will make their home wherever they are called to settle once they arrive in the Utah Territory.

Due to the circumstances of this family, it is pretty unlikely an announcement would have been written.  Everything about these families was in motion.  Family members on both sides were strewn all over the world and their lives were still recovering from a number of personal blows.  While this was probably a high point, they knew there was a long road still ahead of them.

William was born the third of eight children born to Thomas and Elizabeth Cartwright Sharp 10 December 1825 in Misson, Nottinghamshire, England.  He spent his life as a mason.  We do not know where or how he learned it.  His father, Thomas, is listed as an “Ag Lab”, which is probably an agricultural laborer on the 1841 English Census (he died that same year).

In 1848, the LDS missionaries came to visit in Misson.  William was the first of his family that we know who joined the church on 20 June 1848.  His mother followed 11 August 1849 and his sister Isabella 16 September 1849. The story tells the family was friendly and open towards the missionaries.  One of the missionaries was supposedly George R Emery (?-?).

Elizabeth Sharp was determined to emigrate with her family to Utah.  Her family attempted to discourage her by warning her about the dangers of the American Indians.  Nevertheless, she departed with William, Isabella, Elizabeth, and James.  The other four children had died as infants.  The family purchased tickets at 25 pounds sterling in Liverpool.  The family set sail on the “James Pennell” on 2 October 1850 commanded by Captain James Fullerton.  The LDS leaders on board were Christopher Layton (1821-1898) and William Lathrop Cutler (1821-1851) leading the company all the way to Zion.  Right before hitting the waters of the Mississippi the ship encountered a storm where the masts were broken and the ship drifted for a couple of days.  Luckily, a pilot boat found them and another ship (that left two weeks later from Liverpool) and tugged them to New Orleans, Louisiana.  The ship arrived at dock on the 22 November 1850 in New Orleans.  From there the entire group boarded the “Pontiac” and continued to St. Louis, Missouri where they found work and spent the winter.  The family struggled with sea sickness and chills and fevers that beset them in New Orleans and St. Louis.  Despite having crossed the Atlantic, Elizabeth, the mother of the family died 17 February 1851 in St. Louis (and buried in Bellefontaine Cemetery).

This left the four siblings to fend for themselves.  William and Isabella both still desired to move on with the Saints to Utah.  William became fast friends with Mary Ann Bailey Padley, a widow who had lost her husband before leaving England.  They were such good friends that Anne Elizabeth Padley (she went by Sharp her whole life though) was born 31 October 1852.  Isabella married Joseph Carlisle, who had arrived two years earlier, on 18 May 1853 in St. Louis.  That same day the Moses Clawson Company, “St. Louis Company,” departed from St. Louis.  Joseph and Isabella Carlisle, along with William Sharp and Mary Padley (with her son Lorenzo Padley and new infant Anne), left with the company.  Joseph and William were well respected because they apparently were very good athletes and challenged anyone to a wrestling match.

The Sharps and Carlisles drove a wagon for William Jennings, a Salt Lake City merchant and freighter.  The outfitting was done in Keokuk, Iowa.  The company for traveling over the plains was formally organized in Kanesville, Iowa.  On the trail, William and Mary Ann Padley were married 10 July 1853 in Loup Fork, Nebraska.  The company arrived in Salt Lake City between the 15th and 20th of September the same year.

Mary Ann was born the first of seven children born to James and Sarah Goodlad Bailey 28 November 1828 in Mattersey, Nottinghamshire, England.  James was a blacksmith and died somewhere in the 1860′s.  The Bailey family were practicing members of the Church of England.  Mary Ann attended school and obtained training in millinery and sewing.  Sarah died in 1843 and James remarried to a lady named Harriet.  Mary Ann met missionaries of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and converted.  She was baptized 20 October 1846.  Her parents dismissed her from the home for becoming a Mormon.

Shortly after, she met William Padley, another LDS member and a tailor, and married him 4 February 1847 in Sheffield, Yorkshire, England.  They had a boy born to them in 1847 or 1848 named Lorenzo Joseph Padley.  William was ill when Lorenzo was born and died 22 February 1850.  Alone with a new son, she went back to her parents who would not have anything to do with her unless she gave up her religion.  With that, she determined she would move to Zion.  She sailed from Liverpool on 8 January 1851 on the “Ellen” with James Willard Cummings (1819-1883) as the leader of the company.  The ship did have a pretty bad episode with measles and what others thought was whooping cough.  She arrived in New Orleans 14 March 1851.    On the 19th they left for St. Louis on the “Alleck Scott” and arrived on the 26th.  Mary Ann and Lorenzo stayed in St. Louis while the company moved on.  As mentioned above, she met William Sharp and his family while living in St. Louis.

They settled in Lehi, Utah, Utah for a couple of years but had a number of issues with range for the cattle and some other minor squabbles.  Water was also not found to be very dependable in the Lehi area. During this time, William and Mary Ann gave birth to two children, William and Isabella in 1854 and 1856, but both died as infants.  Milo Riley was born 23 July 1857.  I have written of Milo and his family previously at this link: Sharp-Stoker Wedding.

William learned of land north near Ogden, Weber, Utah that was going to be opened up from some of the Saints passing through Lehi (abandoning Salt Lake City before the arrival of Johnson’s Army).  These Lehi Saints were told of ample land and good water that was available west of Ogden.  A scouting expedition went to search out the area in the fall of 1858 and visited with Lorin Farr (1820-1909) who told them of the available plain to the west.

The Sharp family left with other Lehi Saints on 10 March 1859 to travel to this new area.  The group of about 100 arrived 17 March 1859 at what is present day Plain City, Weber, Utah.  The company arrived at about 5 PM during the middle of a snowstorm.  The company lined up the wagons to protect them from the wind and dug a hole in the ground for the campfire.  Reports indicate that snow was pretty deep and conditions pretty uncomfortable.  Plain City apparently lived up to its name with some sagebrush that rose over 4 feet tall from the high water table beneath the soil.

William Sharp put his carpentry and masonry skills to work making adobe brick and helping build the first homes in Plain City.  William and Mary Ann lived in one of these homes.  William served in the Plain City band, the Plain City Z.C.M.I. board, a builder, and a city leader.  William and Mary Ann’s daughter, Evelyn, was the first girl born in Plain City in October 1859.  Victorine Mary was born 8 April 1862 and ended the children William and Mary Ann would have.  Mary Ann kept busy sewing and making suits, coats, and other required jobs.  Each of her daughters learned to become dressmakers.

Lorenzo Padley died 24 July 1866 in Plain City.  The photo we have of him is pretty scratched, but here is a cleaned up photo, but it is not perfect.  It is hard to tell what is his nose and what was deformities in the photo.

Anne Elizabeth married Daniel Clayborne Thomas 29 January 1872 in Salt Lake City at the Endowment House.  After six children she died in 1891 in Plain City.

Mary Ann moved out on Christmas Eve 1875 and refused to come back to William.  William sued for divorce and Franklin Dewey Richards (1821-1899) granted the divorce (in probate court!) on 19 May 1876.

All was not well in Zion during these years in Plain City.  Family lore has it that when a Bishop (Lewis Warren Shurtleff (1835-1922), branch president 1870-1877, bishop 1877-1883) extended himself beyond what the members felt was right, these families made sure it was known.  The final straw came when Bishop Shurleff started telling the members what they would give as tithing.  These were not just on the fringe members, but good standing members of the church in the area.  William Sharp began construction on St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in 1877 for many of these disaffected members (Still standing today and owned by the Lions in Plain City).  For whatever reason a significant group of members were excommunicated between 1877 and 1882.  Many of Plain City’s leading members were excommunicated.  Excommunicated 31 January 1879 were William Sharp (the same who built the new church), Mary Ann Sharp (listed separately because of the divorce), William Skeen, Edwin Dix, George Musgrave (father of their future daughter-in-law), Thomas Musgrave, Thomas Singleton, Thomas Davis, George W Harris, Jonathan Moyes, John Moyes, Winfield Spiers, James Wadman, Robert Davis, John Davis, and Thomas Robson.  These lists also have “and wife” as well as “and family” which seems to indicate that this list may have included spouses and families.  Many of these families returned to the church after time away, some individuals never did.

Milo Riley married Mary Ann Stoker (aka Lillian or Lilly Musgrave) 11 May 1879 in Plain City in the little church William built.  He died in 1916 in Plain City.

This same year, William remarried to the widow of Charles McGary, Charlotte Elizabeth Earl, in 1879.  We do not know exactly when or where.

Evelyn Carlisle married James Henry Taylor 16 January 1880 in Plain City.  She died in 1941 in Oregon.

Victorine Mary married Robert Edward Maw 8 April 1883 in Plain City.  She died in 1945 in Ogden.

Mary Ann continued to work as a dressmaker until she could not do so any more due to age.  She lived with her Granddaughter Elizabeth Taylor from before 1900 and even moved with her to Baker City, Baker, Oregon.  Mary Ann moved back to Plain City not long after Beth married.

William died at 950 Washington Ave in Ogden on 22 December 1900 at 75 years and was buried two days later in the Ogden cemetery.  Mary Ann died 30 October 1913 in Plain City at 85 years and was buried there three days later.

In Memory of Lowell Hansen and Garrett Smith

With a recent bout of suicides, I thought I would pay a bit of a tribute to Garrett Lee Smith and Lowell Eugene Hansen.  Both of them forced the concept of suicide into my life and required I come to some understanding of the idea.  I wanted to give some memories of these two individuals and the doctrinal concepts surrounding suicide.  What is suicide?  How does God look at suicide?  How am I supposed to deal with suicide?  How does God deal with those who commit suicide?

Lowell Hansen was an acquaintance I knew in Paul, Idaho.  I was young enough that I knew who he was, but did not really know anything about him.  After I was charged by a bull at our house, I remembered that within days he appeared at our home and removed the charge from the bull.  I watched him shoot, hang, gut, clean, and cut the bull.  It was fascinating.  I remember recognizing the butcher truck each time when I would see it on the road or at some other location.  I knew he built a log home because I always saw the truck parked near it.  Years later after I became involved in the same congregation and came to know him a little more as Brother Hansen.  It was not until I returned from my mission that I realized he even had a family.  I moved back to home in the fall of 2002 and I was assigned as a Home Teacher to one of Lowell’s daughters.  It was only then I really started to get to know the Hansen family more on a personal level.  It was shortly after that Lowell decided to end his life much like he did that bull.  I was called upon to help minister, however weakly, somewhat to the needs of his daughter and her then boyfriend.  The talk I reproduce in full below was given at his funeral and has provided much of the basis for my feelings and ideas on suicide.

Garrett Smith was on a bit more personal level for me.  I first learned of him in Manchester, England when he was assigned my companion as a new missionary.  I was called as a trainer to him, although I only knew of him as Elder Smith.  We served together, 24 hours a day, for 6 weeks.  We had many a conversation and became close friends.  I had some frustrations with him due to some of his learning disabilities and my lack of patience.  He knew of this and I do not think I always helped in our relationship.  When the 6 weeks were up, we had both profoundly influenced the other though.  He convinced me that I should consider leaving civil engineering and looking more into political science and law.  I think I had convinced him that his disabilities were not a very good excuse for settling for mediocrity.  I left England to return home and he finished in 2002.  We had planned several occasions where we would get together for old time’s sake, but they kept falling through due to poor scheduling and other issues.  We finally set a date to get together on the 13th of September in 2003.  I was going to drive down to Orem, Utah where he was and spend the weekend.  Unfortunately, I received a phone call that week only to find he had hanged himself in a closet after consuming alcohol and sleeping pills.  I had a great desire to attend his funeral so a roommate from Logan drove with me to Pendleton, Oregon for the funeral.  I took a copy of the talk from Lowell’s funeral with me and gave it to Garrett’s parents.  Garrett’s mom, Sharon, later thanked me for the talk.  Our Mission President, Phil Wightman, spoke at the funeral and while I doubt he had read the talk, he referenced very similar themes as Hyrum Smith did at Lowell’s funeral (Hyrum Smith was Lowell’s Mission President too).  Sometimes I find myself wondering what Garrett’s life would be like if he wasn’t reposing in the ground at Weston, Oregon.

I lost the talk over the years and had repeated requests come to me for a copy of it.  Those asking were mostly individuals I had shared with at the time of Garrett’s funeral who were moved by it and wanted to give a copy of it when someone else took their life.  I had probably a dozen requests for the talk in 2010, so I ended up contacting Lowell’s widow for a copy.

Here is a copy of the talk by Hyrum Smith given 6 December 2002 at the funeral of Lowell Eugene Hansen in Paul, Idaho.  At the end, I will give some other thoughts I remember Phil Wightman giving at Garrett’s funeral.

My brothers and sisters, I wasn’t really sure until about 3 o’clock this morning why I was asked to be here, but somewhere around three, I knew.  The spirit indicated to me that I am uniquely qualified to speak here today, and I’ll share with you why as I share some thoughts with you.

I’m honored and humbled that Emma Jean asked me to be here.  When she called Monday, I was stunned as I’m sure all of you were.

Public speaking is not something that is foreign to me.  I do it for a living.  I’ve spoken before thousands of audiences, but never an assignment like this.  I’d like to begin by suggesting that we are met here today in the house of God.  That same God who sent Jesus here to help us.  We meet today in the name of Jesus Christ who died to save us.  I would ask that you keep that in mind as I share a few thoughts with you this morning.

I’d like to begin by sharing four scriptures with you that describe, as many scriptures do, how our Father in Heaven, and our Savior feel about us.  I think we need to be especially reminded of that.  I’d like to go first with the 29th section of the Doctrine and Covenants and read verse 5 “Lift up your hearts and be glad for I am in your midst and am your advocate with the Father.  And it is His good will to give you the kingdom.”  I would then take you to the 62nd section of the Doctrine and Covenants and read verse 1, “Behold and hearken, o ye Elders of my church saith the Lord your God.  Even Jesus Christ, your advocate, who knoweth the weakness of man and how to succor them who are tempted.”  Now go with me to John, Chapter 3, verse 16, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.  That whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.  For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world but that the world, through Him, might be saved.”  Last I would take you back to the Doctrine and Covenants, in section 18.  “Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.  For behold, the Lord, your Redeemer, suffered death in the flesh.  Wherefore He suffered pain of all men that all men might repent and come unto Him.  And He hath risen again from the dead that He might bring all men unto Him on conditions of repentance.  And how great is His joy in the soul that repenteth.”  I share those scriptures with you, brothers and sisters, as a preamble to what I would ask you to consider as we have met here today.

This wonderful man, father, husband, son, brother, missionary, I knew him well as a missionary.  He was one of the great missionaries of our mission – most of the Idaho people were.  He made a big mistake the other night.  Huge mistake.  He knows that he made that mistake now.  It cost him his life.  But only his body died the other night.  His soul, his spirit, his brain, his mind are still very much alive – very active.  It’s like going into another room.

I was led to a talk that Elder Jeffrey Holland gave at a very similar funeral.  Jeff Holland and I served as missionaries in the same mission, British mission, lots of years ago.  He’s a very dear friend.  He was asked to speak at the funeral of a young man who had taken his life.  This is what Elder Holland said, and I am going to interject Lowell’s name into these remarks, because they fit perfectly today.  “We’re here to celebrate Lowell’s life, not his death.  We’re here to praise the Lord and love God for the atonement and the resurrection, but we’re also here to say, particularly to the youth in this congregation and others who struggle, that Lowell made a mistake.  Now he would be the first to say that.  Someone said, ‘A man to be good, and I would add a woman, must imagine intensely and comprehensively – he must put himself in the place of another – the pains and pleasures of the man that has become his own.  Until he can do that, he must never sit in judgment on a man or his motives.’  We need a better vocabulary, Emma Jean.  We know what we mean when we use the language of death.  But the master of heaven and earth, the Savior of the world, the Redeemer of all mankind, the living Resurrection said that, “When you live and believe in Him, you never die.”  So, we’ll let Lowell go for a while.  But he’s not dead, in any eternal sense, and you know that.  You know that now, you’ll know it tomorrow, and you’ll know it next week.  You’ll especially know it when he is spiritually close to you, whispers to you in your dreams, helps through the veil to raise your grandchildren.  You’ll know that Lowell lives.  It is important to me to bear testimony to you that Lowell lives – just as we testify that God lives and Jesus lives.  We testify that Lowell lives and spiritually and is loved of God and of us.  We miss him.  Death was an intruder this week.  We weren’t ready.  We do miss him and we are sorry, but none of that diminishes the brightness of his life.  The grandeur of God’s plans – the reality of life and the resurrection – of eternity and the Celestial kingdom.  Lowell is being buried with all the promises and symbols of his covenants safely around him.  God in his mercy will work out all the arrangements even as Lowell works out his acknowledgement of his mistake.”  Un-quote.

Those are words of an Apostle of God.  I would like to pose five questions to you now.  The first of which no one has an answer for, but I think we need to deal with it, because I don’t think there is a person in this room that hasn’t asked this question in the last five days.  The second, third, and fourth question, I came from southern Utah this morning, to answer.  Because there are answers to those three questions, and I believe I can answer them for you.  The fifth question, only the people in this room can answer.  I don’t know what that answer will be, but I’m going to pose it.

Here’s the first question, which has been on the minds and lips of probably everyone.  “What was he thinking about?”  What possibly could have driven him to make this mistake?  What’s the answer?  I don’t know.  Nobody here knows.  What sort of despair and anguish and pain causes someone to do that?  I don’t know!  He made a mistake, so we really don’t know the answer to that question.  But that’s not the important question.

The second question, the one that I think I am uniquely qualified to answer, and one of the reasons why I think I was asked to be here is, “What is Lowell thinking now?”  Lowell’s very much alive.  He thinks, he breathes; he has probably had an opportunity to walk with his Father in Heaven.  DO you want me to tell you what he is thinking now?  He’s afraid.  He’s sorry.  He’s in anguish.  He’s suffering.  He’s wishing he hadn’t done it.  I know that.  How do I know?  Several years ago, I made some big mistakes.  We all make mistakes.  Hopefully not as big as the ones I made.  Because of those mistakes, it was required that I lose my membership in the church for several years.  And after I went through the process of approaching my Bishop and my Stake President, and going through the church judicial system – which is amazing, I found myself asking the first question a lot.  What was I thinking?  I couldn’t even answer that question for me.  But I know what I thought about after.  I know about the pain.  I know about the anguish.  I know about the suffering.  It’s awful!  So rest assured, and knowing Lowell as I know him – the integrity of this man, he’s in a lot of pain.

Third question, “Will the Lord allow Lowell to repent?”  Every natural instinct in your body knows the answer to that question – Of course!  He allows everyone to repent.  There’s a myth that floats around the church from time to time.  It suggests that people who take their lives have committed an unpardonable sin.  I’m here to tell you today that’s just flat not true.  The Lord will allow Lowell to repair that mistake.  He’ll walk him through it.  He’ll help him do it.  He’s going to allow that.

Fourth question, “Will the Lord forgive him?”  Every natural instinct in your body knows the answer to that question.  The answer is yes.  He will.  He will forgive him.  And Lowell will receive all the blessings that he rightly deserves from a wonderful life.

Those are the three questions I can answer with surety.  The fifth question, I can’t.  The fourth question was, “Will the Lord forgive him?”  The answer is yes.  The fifth question is, “Will you?”  I know from sad experience that lots of people don’t.  But the Lord has asked us to forgive.  He said, “I the Lord will forgive whom I choose to forgive, but of you, you’re required to forgive all men.”  I need to talk about forgiveness for a moment.  Does the mistake that Lowell made the other night blot out all the good that this man did in his life?  No!  Elder Holland reflected on that.  He was a wonderful missionary.  He was a great father.  He was a great man.  He was dedicated to his Father in Heaven.  Like many of us, he made some mistakes, one big one.  It doesn’t blot out everything he was.  We heard of a wonderful tribute from a beautiful daughter today about the kind of dad he was.  None of that gets wiped out.

As I went through the initial stages of my repentance process, one of the major sources of the anguish was the worry that no one would forgive me.  Because I somehow got it in my mind as I grew up in the church, that to ultimately forgive someone, for a transgression, you had to forget it.  Because we were taught in the scriptures, that when repentance was real and complete, the Lord forgets.  How does He do that? He forgets!  Wow!  Can we, mortals, reach a level of spiritual maturity where we can forget what happened the other night?  I don’t think so.  Do you think that anybody in this room will ever forget that Lowell took his life?  Not in this life.  I don’t think so.  Do you think anyone, who knows me well, will forget that I was excommunicated from the church?  Nope – Hyrum Smith…business leader, great, great grandson of the prophet’s brother, Hyrum?  No one will ever forget that!  Do you think my kids will forget that?  No!  BUT, and this is one of those moments where the spirit instructs and saves, in the middle of the night, the spirit taught a great lesson.  Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting.  Forgiveness means remembering – but it doesn’t matter any more.  I think we can achieve that.  I think we can reach a point, as mortals, where we can remember and have forgiven to the point where, in remember, it just doesn’t matter anymore.  I challenge each to deal with the fifth question, “Will you forgive him?”  I believe you can – you must!  That’s what the Lord wants you to do.  But you’ll never forget.

I want to share a concept with you that has helped me think through a number of things.  During the Vietnam War, I was in the military during that period of time; there was a man by the name of Stockdale.  He was an admiral.  He was the highest-ranking man to spend time at the Hanoi Hilton as a prisoner of war.  And while he was in the prison, for about six years, he discovered that there were three basic types of people incarcerated in that prison.  He discovered the same thinking that Victor Frankl discovered at Auswich during the Second World War.  Victor Frankl wrote about it in his book, “Man’s Search for Meaning.”  Then Stockdale wrote about it, and it has become known and has been written about in a number of books since – the Stockdale paradox.  The three groups of people that he discovered were these.  There were pessimists, optimists, and realists.  And this is how he defined each group.  The pessimists saw the brutal facts around him and quit.  The optimist had boundless faith and ignored the brutal facts.  The realist saw the brutal facts, but had faith they could be dealt with.

The reason I share this with you is that in this book, when he wrote about this he said the interesting thing about these three groups is that the first two groups of people died in the camps at Vietnam.  Died!  Didn’t make it back!  I understood why the pessimists didn’t make it.  They saw the brutal facts.  They were in the middle of South-East Asia.  They were 8,000 miles from help and the Marines aren’t going to get in here.  We’re going to be here forever, and they died.  And some very healthy bodies died.

The second group stunned me!  The optimists died!  How come the optimists died?  Because the optimists had boundless faith but were not willing to look at the brutal facts.  And they said to each other, “You know we’ll be out of here by Christmas.”  “We’ll be out of here by Valentines.”  Every rustle in the bush was the Marines coming to save them.  And when every rustle in the bush wasn’t the Marines coming to save them and when they weren’t out by Christmas, and when they weren’t out by Valentines, they died.  They gave up and died.

The realists survived.  They saw the brutal facts.  “We’re in the middle of South-East Asia.  We’re not going to be rescued for a long time, but you know what guys, we’ll stick together.  We can handle this.”  And they did.

A good friend, by the name of Jensen, was in our mission – Lowell knew him – served six years in that prison.  There were several LDS fellows there, and the way they kept themselves sane was they would try and remember LDS hymns.  They would tap by Morse code on the bars of the jail, and they would send what they could remember of each hymn.  They gathered lots of hymns.  And one hymn they worked on for four years.  They got the first three verses in about 18 months, but the fourth verse took two and a half years to get.  They finally got the fourth verse.  When they got back, there was only three verses.  They had created their own verse, but they survived.  Now why do I share that here?  I want to ask you the question as what are you going to do about this issue?  Pessimists see the brutal facts – Our dad killed himself.  It’s pretty awful.  Nothing so wrong, it’s awful!  And you can give up – if you want.  The optimist ignores the facts – puts on a smiley face and pretends it didn’t happen.  And the optimists live a lie.  The realist sees the brutal facts – We lost our dad, our husband, our son – pretty awful.  We’ve got to gather together and help each other now to survive financially and economically.  We’ve got to get through school.  We’ve got to do stuff that dad normally would have helped us with.  It isn’t going to be easy.  The optimist has the faith that we can do it.  And so I’m asking you today, “What are you going to be?”

On the 19th of October of last year, not this year, but 2001, Steven Covey and I, we have a business together, were asked by Mayor Giuliani of New York City, if we would come back to Manhattan and do a free, one day, workshop for the families of those affected by the 9/11 disaster.  He told that their mid-town Manhattan Sheraton had donated their ballroom.  They donated our rooms to stay.  Would you come back?  We’ve got people in some real pain.  Would you come back and speak?  We said, “We’re there!”  We got there on a Thursday night.  The seminar was to be on Friday.  I got there about midnight.  I’ve been in Manhattan many, many times.  As I flew up the East river, I was coming from Chicago, and saw the lights where the World Trade Center used to be, it was kind of an eerie feeling.  It was a very different landscape now.

At five o’clock the next morning, Mayor Giuliani had arranged for a tour, a private tour of ground zero for Steven and me.  At that point, which was just five weeks after the event; sixteen hundred policeman had surrounded ground zero, and had blocked it off.  You couldn’t get down there without a police escort.  We had to go through four checkpoints to get to ground zero.  About 5:15 in the morning, we found ourselves standing on the street in front of where the Marriott Hotel used to be. It used to be called the Vista Hotel.  I’ve stayed in that Hotel many times.  Only I wasn’t really standing on the street.  I was standing on 16 feet of compacted debris.  And as we stood there looking at this horrific hole in the ground, the policeman who had been assigned to be our guide began to tell us his story.

He said, “You know, I was here that day.  I was standing on the street right about where we are.  I heard this big bang, I looked up, and all this stuff came flying out of the World Trade Center.”  He said, “You know, it looked like paper when it all came out until it started hitting the ground.  It was fifty foot I-beams killing everyone it hit.”  He said, “I watched 34 people jump from those towers.  Four of them holding hands.  I watched eight firemen lose their lives from falling people.”  I’m not even believing this.  Then he looked at me and said, “Mr. Smith, how many computers do you think there were in the World Trade Center?”  I said, “Probably a lot.”  He said, “We haven’t found one!”  I said, “How come?”  “3,000 degree fire.  It’s still burning.”  As he was talking, a crane pulled a big I-beam out of the rubble, and the end of the I-beam was dripping molten steel.  Then he said, “You know the second plane hit and then the building started to come down – we all thought we were dead.  We got under a car, and somehow we lived.”  That’s how our morning started.

When we got back to the hotel at about 7:30, we had to shower.  We were covered with soot.  At 8:00, this meeting began.  There were 2,000 people jammed into a ballroom designed for 1,500.  People were sitting on the floor.  It started by two New York policemen and two New York Firemen, carrying the American flag in.  I will tell you, It’s hard.  And then the Harlem girls choir, sixty young women from Harlem, filed in and sang three patriotic songs, and the music that came out of those kids was amazing.  I was very grateful that Steven Covey had to speak first because I was a mess.  He spoke for two hours, and then I had to speak for two hours.  As I approached the front of the room, there were people all around on the floor.  A fireman, about half way back, in uniform, stood up, and he said, “Mr. Smith, are you going to tell us how we get of bed in the morning when we just don’t give a darn anymore?”  That’s how it started.  It turned out to be one of the toughest, and ultimately the most rewarding experiences I’ve had.  I said these words to the fireman – and I want to say these words to you – Emma Jean and the children, and their extended family, and everybody here.  If you don’t remember a think I’ve said, remember this statement.  I said to this fireman, “Pain is inevitable.  Misery is an option.”  And he seemed a little stunned.  Now what do I mean by that?  The fact is, brothers and sisters, bad things happen to good people.  They just do.  Airplanes fly into buildings.  Rivers overflow their banks.  Dams break and flood out villages.  Accidents happen – people die prematurely.  Bad stuff happens to good people.  How we choose to deal with the pain is ultimately a measure of who we are.

That’s why the Lord gave us the gospel of Jesus Christ.  To help us deal with the pain.  Some of the most serene, magnificent, wonderful people I’ve ever known have gone through some major pain in their lives.

Will the Lord forgive?  Yes!  Ten days ago, tomorrow, President Hinckley and Elder Maxwell, laid their hands on my head and restored all my blessings.  Not just some of them.  All of them.  And President Hinckley mentioned three times in the most amazing blessing I’ve ever heard, all the blessings.  I’m here to testify to you today that that will happen to Lowell.  He’ll be there.  He’ll be ready, Emma Jean.  He’ll welcome you with all his blessings.  So the challenge for us as the living – to go on.

When the pioneers came across the plains, they periodically had to stop and bury the dead.  And the scene was always the same.  There’d be a family standing around the grave, and if you looked off into the distance, you could see the wagons – and the wagons were ready to go.  The wagons had riders in them.  They were waiting for the family to get through with that funeral so that they could move on because they knew, “If we don’t move on, then we’ll die!”  They buried their dead, and they moved on.

Well, the wagons are surrounding the building, and they’re ready for us to move on.  We pulled off the highways of our lives to pay tribute to a great human being – who made a mistake that can be fixed.  And when we’re through here today, we’ll get back in our wagons and move on.  We’ll survive.  Don’t ever forget the brutal facts, but never lose faith that they can be dealt with.  I bear you my testimony that God lives.  Jesus is the Christ.  He loves everybody in the room.  He’ll take care of Lowell.  He’ll take care of us too.  I bear that witness in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Here are a few more thoughts from my memory of Phil Wightman’s talk from Garrett’s funeral.  The talk centered around the scripture in 1 Corinthians 13:12-13 which states, “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.”

In essence, since I went to the funeral with Lowell’s funeral talk in my mind (in fact, my friend, Taylor Willingham, read it to me again on the drive up and I gave a copy to Garrett’s parents) the basics of the talk were the same.  Brother Smith approached it with some practical questions and answers to those questions.  President Wightman approached it from a doctrine side that we do not really know what goes on in the minds of these individuals when suicide is completed.  But we have to have charity, love them and their families, and move forward.  In the end, the Lord will sort all things out.

Rest in peace Garrett and Lowell.  I look forward to meeting up with you both again some day.  Until then, I hope we all can appreciate the suicidal act and hopefully help avoid it in the future, and work forward from those who do commit this unthinkable deed.

Stoker-Eames Wedding

Elizabeth and the late Thomas Eames are pleased to announce the marriage of their daughter Emma to William Edward Stoker, son of Thomas Stoker and the late Ann Nightingale Stoker.  William and Emma were married in St. Johns Church of Wembley, Middlesex, England 29 July 1849.

I have not seen the records, but apparently William Edward Stoker was born 9 January 1827 in Crateford, Staffordshire, England.  I am unsure where Crateford exactly is since the online map services do not list it as a town.  I know it is near Brewood, Staffordshire, England and can find the Crateford Road outside of town to the northwest, but I am not sure much more is available without actually visiting the area.  He was baptized/christened 4 February 1827 in Brewood.  His father, Thomas Stoker, worked as a coachman and remained so until he became too old to work.

Emma Eames was baptized/christened 21 February 1830 in St. Mary’s Church of Harrow on the Hill, Middlesex, England.  She is the third of at least 5 children we know of.  The only other sibling we know much about is her brother Thomas.  Her father, Thomas Eames, was listed as a wheelwright at the time Emma was born.  By the time Emma married to William her father is listed as a servant.

William and Emma would have five children together (although some have added two more children, but with no documentation). William worked as a saddler, leather-worker, and harness maker throughout his life.  I do not know why the family moved around so much, probably for work, but they do not seem to have been too poor.  Staffordshire, Shropshire, Middlesex, and Berkshire were all homes of the Stoker family.

William Thomas Stoker born 4 June 1850 in Alperton Hollow, Middlesex, England.  He died 21 October 1908 in Plain City, Weber, Utah.  He would end up marrying three times to Fanny Amelia Tucker, Ellen Hemmings, and Callie Oliver.

Alice Stoker born 20 September 1851 back in Brewood.  She died 11 September 1869 in Ogden, Weber, Utah.  I have been unable to tell if she actually married or was just engaged to James England when she died.

Jeanette Stoker born 3 February 1856 in Wolverhampton, Staffordshire, England.  She died 5 February 1941 in Salt Lake City, Salt Lake, Utah.  She married Charles David Rogers in 1875.  I posted a picture and quick biography at this link: Jeanette Rogers.

Alfred Stoker born 21 September 1859 in Hendon, Middlesex, England.  He died 3 November 1927 in Pocatello, Bannock, Idaho.  He married Elizabeth Branson in 1881.

Mary Ann Stoker born 24 February 1863 in Reading, Berkshire, England.  She died 6 May 1935 in Plain City.  She married Milo Riley Sharp in 1879.  I have written previously about this family at this link: Sharp-Stoker Wedding.

Emma contracted tuberculosis (listed as phthisis on the death certificate) and passed away 28 April 1863 at 18 Albert Street within St. Mary’s Parish after a year struggle with the disease.

Emma joined the LDS church on 7 August 1856.  William Thomas joined 5 December 1860.  William Edward and Alice joined the LDS church 27 May 1863.

The family wasted no time in gathering to Zion.  The Stoker family departed from London on a ship called “Amazon” 4 June 1863.  George Q Cannon dedicated the ship which was entirely of Saints (880+) headed for Zion.  It was this same ship that Charles Dickens wrote that the Mormons were not taking misfits and scoundrels, but the “pick and flower” of England.  Even George Sutherland, future U.S. Supreme Court Justice was on this ship.  Here is a link to the story by Charles Dickens: The Uncommercial Traveller.  The LDS church also tells of the story that day at this link: Amazon Departure.  The ship sailed to Liverpool before finally heading out for America.  Elijah Larkin, who would help found Larkin Mortuary, noted that on the 16th and 20th of June, Thomas Stoker was administered to due to a sickness since leaving Liverpool.

The “Amazon” landed at Castle Gardens, New York, New York on 18 July 1863.  The Saints took rail to Albany, Albany, New York and then to Florence, Douglas, Nebraska through Detroit, Wayne, Michigan.  From there they hoofed it on to Salt Lake City, Salt Lake, Utah Territory arriving 3 and 4 October 1863 (depending on which of the two companies), just in time for General Conference.  Several of the company wrote of Brigham Young coming out to greet them and giving them advice.

William moved almost immediately to Ogden, Weber, Utah and set up shop working with leather.  William wasted no time in remarrying to Eliza Sinfield in Ogden 18 May 1864.  While Mary Ann is listed as a child for William and Eliza on the 1870 Census, she was actually living with the Musgrave family and Jeanette with the Garner family.  Additionally, the other children from this first marriage were also being raised by other families.  I just cannot tell for sure since the families sometimes listed these children as their own with their own last name.  Family lore indicates that William and Eliza could not afford to raise these older children and farmed them out to families that could afford to take care of them.  Other evidence points that they were not all that poor, but it is not likely we will ever really know.

Eliza Sinfield was born 24 January 1842 in Eversholt, Bedfordshire, England.  She and William married 18 May 1864 in Ogden.  They lived there the rest of their days.  I cannot tell for sure where they lived.  The 1880 Census puts them on 6th Street, but then this address is near Franklin Street, which is now located 20 blocks or more away.  The next page of the census has the Academy of the Sacred Heart which is also near 25th street in Ogden.  Therefore, another 6th street once existed in Ogden, or the census taker jumped all over town, which is unlikely.  The 1870 Census does not give street addresses, so we have no leads there.  At any rate, William and Eliza had six children.

Emma Stoker born 24 March 1865 in Ogden and died 10 October 1878.

Agnes Stoker born 1 October 1866 in Ogden.  She married George Shields in 1885.  She died 6 September 1921 in Ogden.

Henrietta Stoker born 10 October 1868 in Ogden.  She married Simon Heber Weston in 1885.  She died 10 June 1942.

Eli Benjamin Stoker born 9 July 1870 in Ogden.  He married Sarah Jane Thomas in 1899.  He died 17 May 1952 in Silverton, Shoshone, Idaho.

Albert Stoker born 12 May 1873 in Ogden.  I do not know of a marriage for him.  He died 8 February 1949 in Salt Lake City, Salt Lake, Utah.

Victoria Stoker born 28 May 1878 in Ogden.  I do not have a marriage for her either.  She died 20 November 1888.

William and Eliza continued to live in Ogden until he passed away 12 April 1899 in Ogden.  He was buried in the Ogden City Cemetery, along with most of his already deceased family.  Later family members would also be buried near him.  Eliza died 3 April 1912.  Here is the only other picture we have of William Edward Stoker as a much older man.  You can see the tuft of hair in the middle that has not changed.  The increased bag lines under the eyes and the same man greatly aged.  If you look, you can see some of the resemblance in his sons.

A duck story and the Gores

Here is a picture of our latest visitors here in Oklahoma City.  Kevin and Jean Gore from Walkden, Greater Manchester, England.  They visited and stayed with us for two evenings and about two days.

I first come to know the Gores in 1998 as I was preparing to leave for my mission to the UK.  The Bishop from the Hazelton Ward, Paul Tateoka, sent word through his brother in my ward, Ted Tateoka, that I needed to call this couple from the UK.

The Gores were staying with one of the missionaries who had brought them into the church, who lived 5 miles or so down the road from me.  I called the Meacham home and had a nice visit with Kevin for about 30 minutes or so.  I obviously had my mission call, but I do not recall knowing that they lived in my mission.  Kevin knew I was in the mission so he told me a few interesting things and we hung up the phone.

I admit I completely forgot about this conversation with Kevin Gore until my first Sunday serving in the Eccles Ward (now Swinton) of the Manchester England Stake.  I stood there shaking hands with members and introducing myself when a man asked if I was Elder Ross from Hazelton, Idaho.  I apparently looked dumbfounded so he informed me that I had spoken with him on the phone before my mission.  Granted, this was the first time I laid eyes on him.  Well, that started a relationship that has now come down through the years.  I served in the Eccles Ward for about 6 months, although since there were two sets of missionaries, me and my companion had the other half of the ward.

The Gores were probably one of the closest families I had in that ward, although there were a couple.  Before we left late in 1999, Kevin and Jean Gore treated all four of the missionaries to a very nice roasted duck dinner.

Time has a way of marching on, and so it has done with this friendship.  Brad Hales, Amy Hales, and I visited the Gores again in the summer of 2003 when we went to England for a convert baptism of a lady who Elder Hales and I had once taught (in Runcorn Ward).  I think we spent two evenings with them at that time, although our time was limited because they were working and we had other people in the area we also visited, but Jean made us a roasted duck dinner again!  We did not request it, but she made it, and it was fabulous.  We again enjoyed our time with them, although limited.

The Gores were kind enough to invite us to the wedding of their son, Ian, in Springville, Utah in 2004.  Brad Hales and I visited, partook of the food (no roasted duck!), and enjoyed a good evening with our British friends.  The Gores came to visit Utah in 2008 again, but we were only able to enjoy a light dinner at Olive Garden together (again, no duck, only in England!).

Amanda and I made the trek over the water again in 2008.  This time we again spent 2 nights with the Gores in their home on Trinity Crescent.  Both in 2003 and 2008 I knew the neighborhood well enough I could still drive to the home without much difficulty.  Jean once again made her now famous roasted duck dinner!  I honestly think this is the only times I have ever eaten duck in the past decade, if ever in my life (other than what they call duck at the Chinese buffet).  The Gores were more than kind in allowing us to stay with them, use their computers, talk family history, and even hosted a little get together of other members of the Swinton Ward I still knew and asked about.

Here we are in 2011, 13 years later after the phone conversation, and the Gores have come to visit us!  Sorry, we did not treat them to a roasted duck dinner.  It would have been an insult to Jean’s cooking.  Their son, Ian, had moved from Springville, Utah to Bentonville, Arkansas.  Kevin and Jean wanted to come down to visit the Oklahoma City Temple and, we feign to believe, us.  We drove out to Pops Soda Shop in Arcadia.  We also ate out at our favorite little Mexican joint and then we treated them to capers and artichoke pasta the night we made them dinner.  We played a couple of games of Ticket to Ride and just enjoyed our time together.  Thanks for being such great friends and keeping in contact through the years!

When is the next time we will see the Gores?  And, the question you all want to know, will there by duck involved?

William and Maria Wagstaff

Back row: Willard, William, Annie, Parley, Maria, Jesse. Front row: Elsie, Edna, Herbert.

Since this is another peripheral line, I will not get to write much on this family.  But this photo I thought deserved to be shared with others.

Maria Magdalena Wanner, the mother of this family in the photo, is the sister to my Johann Georg (John George) Wanner Jr.

William Addison Wagstaff was born 7 November 1860 in Kirstead, Pinxton, Derbyshire, England.  He passed away 31 May 1931 in Ogden, Weber, Utah.

Maria Magdalena Wanner was born 12 Sepember 1873 in Grünkraut, Tübingen, Württemberg to Johann Georg Wanner and Anna Maria Schmid.  Her whole family joined the LDS church in 1891 and immigrated to the US in 1892 settling in Logan, Cache, Utah.  She passed away 23 October 1952 in Ogden.

William and Maria were married 17 June 1896 in the Logan LDS Temple.  To this marriage were born 11 children.  All of which were born in Glendale, Franklin (then Oneida County), Idaho.

George William Wagstaff born 26 January 1897, died 4 February 1897.

James Addison Wagstaff born 24 June 1898, died 14 March 1913.

Annie Eliza Wagstaff born 27 December 1899, died 20 December 1940.  I do not think she married.

Wilford John Wagstaff born 28 August 1901, died 23 June 1903.

Parley Leroy Wagstaff born 9 April 1903, died 18 Jan 1996.  Married Eliza Dorothea Blanch 14 March 1929.

Willard Lesley Wagstaff born 3 March 1905, died 21 January 1973.  Married Mary Isabell Gibson 19 October 1927.

Jesse Olsen Wagstaff born 9 January 1907, died 27 October 1991.  Married Berta Edna Gibby 28 October 1936.

Herbert Spencer Wagstaff born 11 November 1908, died 19 March 1962.  I do not believe he married.

Edna Leona Wagstaff born 10 July 1910, died 11 January 1997 in Kaysville, Davis, Utah.  Married Horace Raymond Owen 10 March 1933.

Elsie Magdalena Wagstaff born 7 August 1912, died 4 December 1990.  Married William C Coleman 17 January 1974.  I do not know if she had a marriage before that.

Albert Wanner Wagstaff born 8 July1915, died 19 August 1970.  Married Marvel Irene Higley 2 October 1948.

The entire family moved to West Weber, Weber, Utah after the last child and before 1920 and remained there the rest of their lives.  Most of these children died in or near the Ogden area.  One or two returned to the Preston, Franklin, Idaho area, probably due to relationships from before the move.

The individuals in the photograph above are as follows from left to right, front row consists of the three children in front.  The photo above was taken about 1914 after James had died, but before Albert was born.  Aren’t they a cute little family?

If you have more information to add to this family, I would be happy to correct or add to it.