Baby Sandra Jonas

This is the only photograph I have of my mother as a baby.  I am sure there are more out there, but they have not been shared with me.  This photograph was in an album of my Great Grandmother, Lillian Coley Jonas (Mom’s paternal Grandmother).  It was in an album that had the plastic stick pages and you can see the effects of that and a little moisture on the photograph.  Hopefully some day another version will emerge.  I am sure my Grandmother had some more pictures but nobody seems to know where they went in 1999.

Sandra Jonas was born 16 March 1954 in Logan Hospital in Logan, Utah.  She weighed in at 6 pounds, 11 ounces and I do not have a record of how long.  Her parents were Colleen Mary Andra and Wilburn Norwood Jonas.  They resided at the home Grandpa built at 142 N. State Street in Richmond, Utah (someone update me so I can correct this).  I do not know the exact address.  She was delivered by Dr. Willard Goodwin Noble.  An interesting note about her birth certificate, Dr. Noble made out the certificate of birth on the 24th of March and was probably filed the next day, but the certificate says it was filed on the 15th of March, the day before she was born!  L. K. Gates was the Registrar.  That is all from the State Certificate of Birth.  The Logan City Certificate of Birth all states the same except signed by H. R. Pedersen as City Recorder with W. W. Nyman as deputy.

Sandra, who had a strong dislike for the name Sandra, has always gone by Sandy.  Sandra is not a family name and was popular at the time.

Wilburn went by the name of Norwood (or “Nor”) because he did not like Wilburn.  He is shown as a laborer on the birth certificate and worked on and off at various jobs through the years.  The majority of the time he worked for Sego Milk (aka Pet Milk) in Richmond.  When the plant closed in the late ’60′s, that is why the Jonas family moved to Burley, Cassia, Idaho.  Norwood then began work helping construct the new Del Monte Plant in Burley.  Colleen also worked through the years at various jobs, usually working at the at the pea and other packing plants in Franklin, Idaho and Smithfield, Utah.

Sandy was the second child of Norwood and Colleen, the older being a boy born in 1952, Douglas Norwood.  Mom was later followed in 1960 by Jackie.  Neither Douglas or Jackie are family names and the family appears to used names that suited their fancy than having any tie to ancestry.

As I look at the picture, I see a happy baby.  She continued to grow into a happy little girl.

I look at our new baby, Aliza, and I see much of my mother.  While I never knew my Mom’s real face because it was rebuilt cosmetically after a wreck threw her into some barbed wire than nearly removed her face and her life, I see in this photo many features of Aliza.  Everything from the long hair on the baby, the smile and build of the face, the wrinkles in the skin of the neck, and more.  Little Aliza does not have the ears or the plumpness of this baby.  Perhaps the plumpness will arrive when she is able to sit up as Mom is able to in this photo.  We will just have to wait and see.

Mom’s Letter, Oct 09

10-27-09

Paul,

Talking about the Andra reunion and Lava, did you know Uncle Otto  as we called him used to have a little cafe there.  I was just little + I do not remember Jackie being around so it was before 1960.  Why did the Andra side perish in the camps in Germany?  Were they Jews?

On the Jonas side I only know probably 1st cousins + then not very well on the older ones.  On the Andra side I know very few.  Well off do not associate with the black sheep + snubbed cause of religion.  Pretty petty when the hypocrites snub the jacks.

I did not know LaRita even had a boy named Dennis but I remember the others names.  I could not tell you what they even look like.  Most of the time you can tell who they belong to though.  Except for a few Jonas reunions + fewer Andra reunions I have not had much to do with relatives since ’68.  During the marriage I had to deal with the green-eyed monster I was married to so I did not even get to associate with my relatives when I did go to the reunions.  Do not you say one damn thing cause you do not know what went on in the marriage.  I tried to keep everything out of sight so you + Sis would not know.  Only thing Sis is smarter than you + she does not have blinders on like you do.  Habitual liars do not know how to tell the truth even if it would save their lives.  DO NOT say anything about the subject.  Let it go.

Sounds like you got quite a plate full with your schooling + other activities + working on your house.  There is no way better to learn than 1st hand + doing it yourself.  Glad to hear they got the ones who broke into your house.

As for Dan + his partner whether it be male or female it does not matter cause it was Dan’s business but you know what Paul you just do not give it up.  If you are you are and if you are not you are not.  It is no one’s business but Dan’s + that goes for your cult too.  If you remember Larry’s boy got messed up by one on his mission.  It is a way of life for some but a dirty nasty game for others.  The dirty nasty ones ruin it for the legit ones.  Your cult cannot change that.  I do not care what you say.  Your cult does not care about anything but making their membership list grow.  Whether worthy or not of their requirements makes no difference to them.  Remember I spent 39 years on the membership list before the BS come to a head and Duffin or Duff or whatever his name was help me free myself from the cult.  DO NOT say anything here either.  I have just as much right as you of an opinion.  I caint help it if mine is opposite of yours.  We will never see eye to eye on the subject.  You do not condemn me cause I do have a quarter century more knowledge than you on life.

In school, I never cared much for history but I read some biographys that really opened my eyes about the so called great american political figures and the corruption that has gone on in the US of A.  How a cold blooded murder can hold the positions of governors and presidents.  Pretty spooky.  I also read an autobiography of an anarchist who also opened my eyes to the corruption in the country.  Look what has happened in the last couple of years of an asinin ripping of a lot of people off for millions + billions of dollars.  I have seen how state govt rips the fed govt off.  An in the end all the pain + suffering of the unsuspecting humans.

I do not think competitive enters into it anymore Paul.  I think it is all selfish + greed.  you remember back when there was the big doings about buy american made products to keep the money circulating in our own nation.  I have only seen things made in other countries like Vietnam, China, Taiwan, Afganastan, Mexico + in South America, etc, or things made in other countries then repackaged in the US.  Why?  Cause of the cheapness of labor.  The american thinks he worth so much.  Americans + their double standards.  Stupid people who live beyond their means.  the ones who live wanting instead of living with their needs.  There is a different in buying what you need + buying what you want.  Night + day, black + white.  A lot of people buy buy buy + do not worry about where the $ is going to come from to pay on all the spending.  I know I never go you kids things you wanted but then I did not have to cause someone else bought your love by getting it for you.  But then I guess love never ment that much to me if I had to it unlike some others I know.

I am glad you two do not want a large house.  Working up int he Sun Valley area I seen all those great big houses + could never figure out why the people wanted them except to out do the neighbor.  The prices were ridiculous.  But then when I took Gunther back to Connecticut the prices were ridiculous back there then too.  Why have space you do not use?  Do you know how they build the buildings in England or maybe I should say Europe.  It looked like similar architect in the countries.  Americans are not as smart as they might think.  The old countries are a lot smarter in the general things.  I myself have always wanted a small log cabin.  Did you ever see the log cabin Aslett’s had in Mackay?  That was a cute one but I want a build-in fire place instead of a stove.  Maybe some day.

What is between Oklahoma + Arizona where one has high humidity + one does not?  Is there a high mountain range?  I do not remember New Mexico having high humidity there.  So if you leave Oklahoma will your allergy stay there or go with you?  You did not get your allergies from my side of the family, you got it from the other side that is sick.  How come the shot only lasts a week?  Do not they have them that lasts longer than that?  Just exactly are you allergic to?  Is it mostly pollens and such or do animals enter in too?

Paul, it is not Idaho I do not like it is the self-righteous hypocrits I do not like.  I love mother nature + all her glory she makes.  There is beautiful land, plants, wildlife.  It is the human species of animal I do not like.  But you are wrong on the govt part.  Idaho is corrupt as hell.  The 1st Amendment, separation between state + church, does not exist.  The state is run by a cult.  Idaho is 1 of 2 or 3 out of 50 that took away good time.  It was taken away Feb ’87 when the Unified Sentencing Act went into affect.  Then you got the asinines in the senate or legislature  who have been in there a while (Darrington – Declo) who says over my dead body will good time be brought back.  Darrington was a history teacher at Burley High when I went there.  A good upstanding mormon prick.  Greed is a corrosive in the fine upstanding govt of Idaho.  But I will not go on.  Politicians are vermin.

Sorry about the picture in 4th grade.  Where did it come from?  Who?  It was not Doug or Jackie’s writing.  Apparently someone stupid.  Now tell me if you looked at the picture that you would of known who I was.  Is there no common sense any more?

Paul, if Dad + Colleen were married in ’46 + I was born in ’54 how do you expect me to answer what they did?  It seems very difficult if I did not exist.  I have no idea when the house on State St was built.  I know Dad worked for Sego all the time I was alive.  I have no idea what Colleen did + do not care.  I remember a lot of Richmond being I lived there the 1st 14 yrs of my life + then back again after high school for a while.  no one came to visit except relation.  Evan + Spence used to come up to fish.  Evan the most in High Crick.  At bird season the front yard looked like camper city.  A lot of Jonas + Coleys, pheasant, duck, geese.  Joe’s boys, Lee + Earl.  I do not ever remember Ellis coming up.  He was too good.  We used to have the Jonas reunion down on the park ever year, by the highway where the elementary school was.  I understand it is torn down now but do not know if they built another one there or not.  There was always Black + White Days + baseball games behind LD’s.  The 4th of July they used to role a car off the NC mountain.  It was right behind the house pretty much.  There was the Group that Dad + Colleen belonged to.  Different holidays they met at someones place + had a party.  New Years was at our house.  Dad bagged the geese + Colleen cooked them + then the people brought pot luck.  We had a regulation pool table + the guys pretty much was downstairs playing pool + I do not know what the women did.  I pretty much stayed downstairs.  Colleen belonged to a bridge club.  I think it was with the women in the group but caint be sure.  Dad belonged to the Lion’s Club so there were outings + things that they put on.  There was a place in High Crick where they had suppers and breakfasts.  There were 2 wards, North and South.  The earthquake ’62 took North ward out.  It took the house on the corner, the one across the road + Sal’s house out.  I am sure a lot others too through out Richmond.  Cherry Crick Peak was loosened + said it would fall if we had another quake or some bad tremors.  Face rock shifted + turned into a frog.  How’s that for a few things.

Tell Amanda not to worry about writing.  We are strangers + she would not know what to write to me anyway.  Also tell her I do not care if she had judged me even though it is not her business to judge me.  How can you judge people start wit?  People you have never met?  She must of forgot where I have to live.  I am not allowed things like electric toothbrushes + I caint afford Sensodyne paste @ 7.50 – 4 oz.  She must not of read my letter very well cause I told her I had reconstruction where the gums were worn away but that some had come off.

You would think in this day + age they could figure out how to make + replace teeth + dentures.  Does she know anything about the ones that screw into the jaw?  I understand they are almost like real teeth + they keep the jaw in shape like natural teeth do.  But I hear it is expensive.  About a grand per tooth.  I heard a top plate you have to get over the gag reflex.  There is no way I would go without teeth.  I have seen it a lot here.  Seen a lot of snaggle toot people too.  I just do not see how people can go around with a mouth full of rotten teeth either.

I guess it is getting time to close.  I got 2 other letters to write, Gunther + Sal.  I finally got correspondence back with Gunther after 6 months.  I hope she keeps her nose clean cause I sure could not handle worrying about her being here.  The AG’s brief is due tomorrow so I guess I will be hearing from my atty soon too.

You 2 take care + good luck with your lives.  Hope no more robbers come your way.  You need an attack animal.  Were you home when they broke in?  Let me know how your small claim turns out against them.  So Long for now.

Love You,
Mom

Did you get the little card for your birthday?
I forgot to put both you kids names on them.
I remember after I mailed them.

Spring Break? HA!

This week is our Spring Break.  Really?  What kind of sick joke is this?  Call it by its proper name: Appellate Brief Week.

We don’t have classes this week.  Which is really nice.  Some time to wind down.  Some time to relax.  Sleep in a little.  Go to school, read and research all day.  Feel exhausted.  Come home and work on the yard a few hours.  Then to sleep.  Sounds pretty much like my normal week, except no classes.

Yesterday I spent about 6 hours reading cases and trying to piece some sense into what all the U.S. Court of Appeals make of a ‘True Threat’.  In a nutshell, the Supreme Court let loose a case from Virginia a few years back that not only failed to clarify or correct the split in the circuits, it made it worse.  Each circuit literally has a slightly different twist on the doctrine of ‘True Threat’.

Anyhow, if the reading wasn’t intense enough, I have been feeling the pangs of age.  As I approach 30, my poor left eye just can’t keep up anymore.  After reading another 6 hours straight today, I called in on an optometrist.  He confirmed my fears, I have eye fatigue.  He gave me a nice prescription for a pair of reading glasses.  He suggested I wear them while I am reading to help ease the strain on my eyes.  He said the eyes were in great shape and healthy, just tired.  I now have a pair of glasses!  Well, actually, I am going to take Amanda with me probably tomorrow to pick out a pair.  I had a pair of glasses in 1997 from all the reading then.  But last time I put them on, Amanda laughed so hard she nearly wet her pants.  So I didn’t bring them to Oklahoma with me and I doubt she would let me take them to school anyway.  I will take her with me so she can make sure I can wear the glasses and still be presentable in public, or at least to stay married to her.

This week I have been attempting to get caught up on some of the spring work in the yard.  I have about 3/4 of the yard raked and dethatched.  The lawn will be aerated tomorrow.  Then I will start planting some grass seed in sections so I can keep up with it and watering.  Always more to do.

Monday was Mom’s birthday.  I wrote her a letter in response to her last one.  I must admit, I am growing a bit weary of the letters.  I made sure a few points were clear.  One, that people have names and they are to be referred to by their names in the future.  I will not allow nicknames, especially derogatory ones.  Next, she will have to treat me, our family, and my religion with respect.  I clearly manifested to her that I would no longer respond to letters that were not uplifting and building.  We will have to see how that one comes down.  For 10 years now, I have held the hope of some decency in her letters.  I believe I have been more than charitable and willing to look over the abuse that comes in an envelope.  I just don’t have the time for it anymore.

My favorite part of the letters is that I am distancing myself from her?  What?  Trying to reach out and overlooking offense after offense directed at me is distancing myself?  I feel like I have been stretching much farther than I should have for a long time.  Many individuals have attempted to persuade me to stop writing her.  Well, my attempts to bridge a very wide divide are completely unappreciated and apparently unwelcome.  From now on, letter writing will be on my terms, or there will be no more letter writing.

This is hard because it is my mother.  I grow closer and closer to all the people around me, and others in my family, and yet cannot make up any ground with her.  Honestly, I feel like I am walking the road alone.  I will expend my efforts somewhere else rather than on a selfish, bitter, arrogant, conceited, unappreciative woman who happens to be my mother.  I am reminded of D&C 64, “And ye ought to say in your hearts – let God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds.  We all have to cut off the offending hand at one time or another.  I gave the hand a final warning.

Am I wrong?  I don’t feel like it.  But I am interested in what you think.

Time to go off and read the Joseph Smith lesson for Sunday!

25th of October

It has been quite the week.  We have replaced the sewer side of our plumbing, moving on to the feed side next week.  We had our ward Halloween Party last night with Trunk-or-Treat, Chili Cook-off, and Costume Contest.  We were there long enough to eat chili but not really do the costume part, even though we did dress up.  I had to walk across the hall and teach my 1.5 hour class on part two of the new FamilySearch website.  The fun part it was completely in my Fitzwilliam Darcy costume.  The class seemed to enjoy it.
Tonight we are having ourselves a Halloween Party at our house.  We have invited over 30 but only about 20 RSVP’d.  It should be fun.  It is for the most part buddies from school.  The interesting fact is that it falls on the 10th anniversary of the murder.  A couple joked they were going to come as an Idaho inmate, but have changed their mind as it was a little tasteless.  I am sure Amanda will post some of the pictures online on our joint blog of the occasion.
I took a mock exam this morning and feel I did fairly well considering only half way through the semester.  I know which areas I need to work on rounding out more of my knowledge and understanding of the specific torts and the elements of each.
This week I have been in contact with some old family friends who were kind enough to share some recollections about the Jonas side of the family.  Here are some excerpts from those communications.
“I woke up in the middle of the night when [Norwood] came home. Yelling, noises, thumping, screaming. I was scared, I had not met him yet. When I heard [voices], I peeked out the door. [Doug] was trying to pull his mother off his dad who was trying to stop [Norwood] from beating Jackie. She was 11 or 12. He was drunk and yelling that Jackie was not his child. Can you imagine the poor child. I had never been exposed to anything remotely like this. TV was not so graphic then. Wow. The next day no one said anything. Pretend it did not happen. I remember Doug suggesting hiding or removing the booze. [Colleen] said that would make him mean so she would not do that. I did not sleep well the entire time I was there. Norwood was cordial to me, even smiled and teased me. He was fine when not drinking.”
“Sandy was drinking and taking Motrin, she told me it was a “good high.” Motrin was prescription at the time and she took it for her constant pain. She had had severe head trauma and reconstructive surgery from the car accident where she totaled Doug”s Opel Cadet 2 1/2 years earlier. She showed me the pictures. Wow. You have probably seen them.”
“[Colleen] said she could not take Norwood’s drinking any longer and was filing for a divorce. Sandy was very upset. She said that if she divorced him they would never be together as a family in the Celestial Kingdom.”
“I must admit that Sandy’s remarks about the divorce struck everyone as being foreign due to her dislike of the church.  But remember it is how you are raised.  She knew nothing else.  I believe that she reverted to a child when faced with the divorce of her parents.  And that child believed in the Celestial Kingdom.  She can not be an atheist, that is just a defense mechanism.  She radically changed her memories of her father after he died.  She embodied him and fought hard with her Mom.”
“[Doug] was very stressed over the fact of his parents divorcing but supported his mother’s decision. In the following months Sandy moved back to Cache Valley. [Doug] used to get late night calls from her. She was usually drunk, unhappy, hated being a Jonas. Hated her mother. She took to wearing her fathers clothes. Right down to his boxer shorts. I don’t know how many times she was in jail for disorderly conduct, drunk in public, open container, drunk driving. The laws were not so strict then. She finally had to leave Logan. The law was not going to tolerate her behavior any longer.”
[Doug and Linda's] wedding was planned for April 12, 1975. [They] mailed the invitations out on March 12th. Doug’s dad was no longer living at home. On March 14th, he was crossing the street and was hit by a 17 year old boy with his younger sister in the car. There are many versions of the story, no one really knows for sure. All I know for sure is…the day [the] wedding announcements arrived everyone was learning that Norwood was dead. It was a very tough time for Doug. He never had the adult relationship with his father that he always wanted, he grieved that loss for many, many years.”

“After the wedding and [the] open house in Richmond, Sandy [went] back to CA. Doug needed his sister and she needed him. She was very depressed and drinking an awful lot.”
“Colleen definitely softened in her memories of [Norwood] after he died.  Occasionally she referred to him as “a son of a bitch.”  With such a tone uncharacteristic of her.  I remember the yelling in the Jonas household.  It was almost like if [the family] did not yell you could not hear them.  I never experienced [Colleen's] wrath, she always spoke calmly to me.  At least that is what I am remembering today.”
“I found her to be a very loving woman.  People seemed to flock to her because of that twinkle in her eye when she smiled.  She was up at 3 am to put every hair in place.  Men started arriving around 6 or so for coffee.  A man she called “big brother”, 2 or 3 others, I do not remember their names.  I remember I always got dressed before coming down because you never knew who would be there.  It was always fun to watch her laugh.  She could light up a room.”
“When I met her she hugged me and kissed and treated me like I was her friend.  She shared herself with me as if we were close girlfriends.  I wore rings on every finger, she loved my jewelry, I gave her a very special fish ring.  It was silver and kinda wrapped around the finger.  Needless to say she created her signature look beginning then.”

“I really am surprised you had not seen the pictures of your mom after the accident.  She had reconstructive surgery.  They show the rebuilding of her nose and cheek bones.  I was told that her cheeks were plastic.  There was orbital damage.  It truly changed her overall appearance when you look at before accident and after pictures.  I wonder where these pictures are.  They were Colleen’s.  They were pretty gruesome I remember them pretty vividly.”

“I still cannot smell blackberry brandy without fully remembering when [Sandy] rolled the jeep and we were searching the field, in the dark looking for you, terrified.  You were with Grandma and we did not know.  The jeep had the blackberry brandy all over in it because she was drinking from it when she rolled.  She could not remember where you were, she was hurt pretty bad and I think her dog was killed.  No cell phones at the time or we would have found you quicker.  You were an infant, maybe Oct or Nov.  [We] were living in Paul at the time.  We all worked for Circle A, we called it Circle J.”
Anyhow, some interesting insights from an outsider!

Mom’s letter to Grandpa

Here is a letter we have my mother wrote to her father.  It is very tender and sweet.  In fact, it is heartbreaking.  This shows the soft side of Mom so many do not get to see anymore.  Honestly, this is the Mom I miss.

June 14, 1984

Dear Dad,

Remember when I was 3 yrs old and got my finger cut off.  I can still picture how scared and afraid you were.  I think it hurt you worse than it did me.  Then to hear all the guilt in your voice when you said “How many times have I told you to stay away from the lawn mower”?  How you kept saying “I should have shut it off.”  I know when I lost it again 5 yrs later you were having flashbacks.  But it wasn’t your fault I just wanted to see the blade go around.  I guess I just got started in life on the wrong foot.

Do you remember the pictures that mom took of me cutting your toe nails.  I used to cut your toe nails and calluses off all the time.  You never got mad at me when I’d get too deep.  I was still cutting them even after we moved up to Idaho.

I used to love it when you and I went hunting and fishing.  I still have to grin when I think of the time when that fish slapped my face.  Or when we were up Ox Killer and you had got your deer.  I was watching you gut it.  I picked up this thing and was looking at it.  When I asked what it was and you told me they were its BBD’s.  I got so embarrassed.  You grinned and laughed.  You know I don’t ever remember you laughing out loud.  You always laughed on the inside.  I wish I knew why you did this.

I loved it when Uncle Spence used to call me Little Nor.  It made me feel so proud.  I loved you so much and looked up to you as my idol.  You were the perfect Dad and I wanted to be just like you.  You know I’m more like you than you ever knew.  All the times when you wouldn’t fix my car but made me fix it myself with you looking over my shoulder made sure I did it right.  I thank you for it.

It seemed every time I got hurt you would chew me out.  When I was in that wreck and got my face ripped up you told me I should have been home where I belonged.  When I got my hand hurt there wasn’t much you said but I knew you blamed yourself.  I knew you better than you think or thought.  Your face told the story.  I know why you never would come and see me in the hospital too.  It hurt you so much to see me in pain.  You just couldn’t handle it.  Mom told me that was one weakness you had.  That’s OK, I understand or understood.  I still loved you anyway.

I’m sorry when I moved back to Utah that I didn’t keep in touch with you as much as I should of.  I wished someone would have told me that you and mom separated a little sooner.  It used to kill me when I would come up and talk to you at work.  You totally blew me away the 1st time.  I had never seen you cry before.  We cried on each other’s shoulders.  I would always feel so sad because you always felt so sad.  You know Dad if I would of come up that weekend and seen you maybe you would still be alive today.  I’ve often wondered about that.

When you were killed I wouldn’t and couldn’t believe it until I seen for myself.  Once I walked into Payne’s I knew but I prayed.  I stood over you for hours staring, touching, holding and feeling you.  I wanted to open your eyes.  When I was holding your hand I wanted you to squeeze mine.  When I kissed you I wanted for you to kiss me back.  But you never did.  After a long period of time I started to hallucinate.  I seen you move.  But each time I seen you move I would reach down and touch your hand and it was cold and hard.  I knew that I was just seeing things.  Only in my mind you were moving.  I still didn’t want to believe you were dead.  At the viewing in Webb’s I knew you were trying to talk to me because your mouth had started opening.  I waited and waited hoping you would say something.  But you never did.  At your funeral I gave up, lost hope.  I knew you wasn’t going to get up that’s why I couldn’t stand by your coffin with the family.  I couldn’t except you as being dead.  I still can’t but I know you are.  I was scared when Mom, Doug and Jackie were saying Good-Bye for the last time.  They were in such a big hurry to close the coffin that I didn’t get a chance to get over and say Good-Bye.  But then I think to, that maybe I didn’t want to say Good-Bye either.  It haunts me now because I feel so bad that I didn’t.  Sometimes I wish I had of so that you would let me go.  I will always love you Dad.  I will never ever forget you.

Dad when I met Milo he reminded me of you in so many ways.  Jackie and Mom think so too.  So don’t ever think that you aren’t on my mind.  I named my little boy after you and his dad.  Doesn’t that tell you something.  I’d give anything if you could be here to play with Paul and Sissy.  I know they would love you so very much.  I know you would be proud of them too.  I know you’d like Milo, too.  The two of you would of got along fine.  I sure wish you could of met him.  Milo would have loved you.

Well Dad, I guess I’ve told you everything I had to tell you.  Everything I can think of right now anyway.  I just want to tell you again that I love you and always will.  I won’t ever forget you.  I just wish you were still alive.

Love Always, Sandy

Mom’s 2007 Christmas Letter

This credit bureaus paper is what I was given here.  I am not sure if all these phone numbers are toll free or not.  Will you see if you can check out my credit rating and make sure that no one has gotten a hold of my SSN and used it.  I owe no one.  I had everyone of my bills paid off.  You would know better than me if you can get this by the internet.  My name and everything would all be under Sandy Jonas.  Nothing is under the other name.  You might check under my married name, too.  You never know what was changed and what was not, OK.
I found this little tidbit that maybe you could check on too.  Everything that is for public knowledge is it on the internet too?  If so, then you could maybe look on the net for this.  Probably under some gov’t site.  At county courthouses at the hall of records, wills are filed.  You can pay a fee for a certified copy of death certificates which lists the cause of death.  Like I said, I would like to know what the death certificates of Dad, Mom, and the one who got herself dead with me.  I know the cause of death but I would like to know what the death certificates say.  If you come up with anything will you let me know?
As far as what is happening with me I did get lucky and Crabtree was appointed my case.  Dunlap says that most of the time the judges do not want to deal with post convictions so they go to the appellate which usually kick them back down to district for a hearing on what evidence you have to support your claims.  I am hoping that Crabtree will look over the petition and let me have a hearing first.  All I can do is keep my fingers crossed.
I got a card from Jackie the middle of Nov.  It really surprised me.  It had been over 2 1/2 years since I heard from her.  Maybe she had a straight moment and remembered she had a sister.  She said May was expecting in Jan.  I hope she raises her kid better than Jackie did her.  But then I guess it ain’t none of my business.  I probably will not here from her for another couple of years.  I guess I should feel lucky.  I laugh every time I think about what you quoted Doug saying about communicating and yet the chicken shit caint get off his ass and write me back.  I guess that is none of my business either.  I guess if they both want to go around with their heads up their butts that is their problems.  It just gripes my ass and the bull shit about blood being thicker than water is not true as far as my siblings goes.  It is just hard to write and write and never get a response.  It hurts too.  But I guess that is life and life is not always easy especially when you live in a shit hole incubator that breeds a lot of nasty filthy sick perverted sexual warped son of a bitches that I have to live with.  You would not believe how sick the human species is Paul.
Anyway, I hope you two have a good holidays.  There is no snow here.  It comes and goes.  One day you need a coat and it is bitter the next day you do not.  It can be cold but the damn wind that always blows make it bad.  Well anyway take care and I hope to hear from you.
Love you,
Mom

Mom’s Fall 07 Letter

The last time I talked to the appt atty I asked if anything would be happening this year and he said no.  I got to write him and see if he will tell me anything.  He says my case is rare and he has only found 1 case law in Colorado.  I do not know if I ever sent you the statement Ron sent me that came off the Times News website or not but I will send it to you again.  “Randy Stoker decided the evidence would be so prejudical that he negotiated a plea from murder in the first, possible death penalty to murder 2/25 to life with the possibility of parole after 25.”  I received this in Jan 2005.  I never knew nothing about this.  Stoker sold me out and the whole world knew about it but me.  No one and I mean no one pleas to the max sentence.  The PA knew about it and it only takes 2 for conspiracy Carlson knew about it cause he sentenced me to exactly what Stoker sold me out for.
Burr-Jones flat out told me there is no evidence against me.  Statistics of survey shows 1 out of every 33 people are innocence.  Franz sent me some info on judges and juries and the errors on convictions is in the 80%’s.  I hope you stay as far away from criminal law as possible.  That means politics too.  Larry Craig found out he caint just withdraw your plea anytime you want when he got caught with his dick in his hand.  Politics is all corrupt.  Do not tell me I do not know what I am talking about.  I am twice your age but I am not as stupid as you think.  I have never had anything to do with politics and I never will.  I am anarchist and do not like the corrupt govt and I have seen a lot of it.  That is why I have never voted and never will.  That is why I am Atheist too cause I am strong enough to take my life in my own hands and not need to rely on an imaginary things like deities or the human species like JS and BY who were cold-blood bastards!  I read a book last week called “The Ferry Woman A novel of the John D Lee and The Mountain Meadow Massacre” by Gerald Grimmett.  Put it on your books to read list and check it out.
What about William’s other son Chad?  You know anything about him?  He had 5 boys right?  There was 2 older and 2 younger than Kent my age.  They were all pretty good looking boys so I imagine they all ended up handsome men.  I have never seen any of them since ’68 when we moved to this shit hole.  I believe Marc wrote me when I was first arrested and was at Cassia.  What did he retire from?  He is younger than me and I aint of age to retire yet.  He have health problem or just spent 20-30 yrs with the same co.  He was incarcerated at the time he wrote me.  How many of them more than 1 wife?  Did not you say Edith was in Stockton and that was how you found Kent?  Just trying to remember back.  I guess you know you favor the Andra side of the family.  So does Doug.  The last picture I seen of Doug it looked like he was losing the top of his hair.  I hope you do not lose yours but then I wondered cause you changed your hair style and started to comb it in the lazy man way of combing it forward.  Your hair was so pretty, then you started putting goop on it, now you comb it forward with no style.  How come?
I heard Crabtree fill in butt fucks place after karma got him.  I understand from people here who know of him that he is a pretty fair and decent guy.  No I do not think he belongs to the LDS cult from what I have been told.
I thought you wanted to go to U of V?  How come all of a sudden you are going to come back to this shit hole?  You caint go to USU any more?  They have the Innocence Project at Moscow?
Now before I get into the rest of your letter I want to ask you a question.  A few months ago I asked if you could send me a little money.  You said no but yet you flew cross country, bought a pickup and now plan on going to Europe.  So I will ask you if $50 is going to set you back that much that you caint spare it?  I have been living off my last check of $19 for the month of June.  My last envelope is going to you now.
Since I was not alive in ’46 I caint know what went on.  I only know Dad worked at Sego Milk.  They did wait to have kids.  They build their house and got settled before kids came along.  Dad was sent back east when he came home there was a lot of money put into the factory when they put in the diet line.  A product like Slimfast type stuff.  Then they shut the Richmond factory down and left the Buhl one open.  Then they decided they made a mistake a few years later.  They should of closed the Buhl one and left the Richmond one running.  We moved to Burley and Dad worked for Del Monte.  The water tower is a memorial of Dad cause he made it.  Then he got ran over.  The End of him.  Colleen worked at Del Monte in Smithfield but I do not know how many campaigns and do not care.
Being Grandma Jonas lived in Richmond we could ride our bikes up to her place.  Grandma had chickens and pigs and a good size garden so she pretty much was self sufficient.  Bottled her vegs and had a root cellar.  Grandma was pretty much poor.  Dad came from the wrong side of the tracks.
As far as the Andra’s went my family was the black sheep cause my Dad turned against the fucking religious cult they believed in.  Every time we went up there I always got blamed for everything.  Grandma must not of liked me very much.  Finally Colleen told Grandma to get off my ass that all my life she had rode my ass and to get off it and leave me alone.  As far as I know I was the only one who ever got baby blankets from her.  But spending all my life being got done on by her had its affect.  Grandpa was a farmer.  That was about all I say for them except when Colleen asked about a guy I was running around with from Preston, she told Colleen he was an outlaw so I fit in real well.
You were in Wyoming on the Leefe job the summer of ’79.  You was still in the oven baking.  I had been back in Idaho to start the been campaign 1 week and you were born.  You were up there in ’80 too.  Rode in the loc with me till I got wrote up for having you in there.  I took care of you when I got in the wreck at Max.  Just cause I lost my legs and was bunged up did not mean I did not take care of you.  I still had arms and could drag myself around.  Same way when I cut my arm in half.  Like I said I cut my arm on New Years Eve and had it back in use when I wrecked Feb 10th.  I left in Mar or April to take apps for the Soda job.  You do not seem to understand Paul that I am a surviver and I could not afford to be laid up.  I had a son and needed to support him and myself.  You were mine and I had an obligation in raising you.  I had no help from anyone.  But I did stay at Colleens til I got the little house (’80).  I also squandered $25,000 on some son of a bitch paying his bills while his checks went to a pig he was married to.  And NO Milo never ever had anything to do with you.  He could not even communicate with you.  When you weren’t talking he never even tried.  You and I had our form of communication.  We moved to the 3rd house from Kasota in ’83 and to the 1st house in ’93.
That kinds of answers your questions in your letters.  Hope that is what you were looking for.  Maybe some day I can go in depth face to face with you.  Other people I caint tell you much about.  As a child growing up I was very shy and self-conscious, never said very much.  In the last 9 years I have learned to tell you where the bird at a snap of the fingers.  I do not really give a shit if it hurts your feelings or not.  DO NOT FUCK WITH ME is my attitude.  Good defense mechanism and it works.
The person above me is from Burley and she had a picture of Randy Nelson, Carl Lee’s brother.  He is a year older than me.  Randy has been in trouble all his life with drugs and alcohol.  He just got out of the pen in Sept.  He spent 11 years down.  She had a picture of him before he went in and a picture of him after he got out.  He looks like he is 90 years old.  It really blew me away.  That is what incarceration does to people.  Not only does it age you but it ruins your inner self.  For some reason they just do not see what they are doing to a human being.  I guess Carol Lee has cancer again and is as much as dead.
I wrote to Sherry Swiney who has that patrickcrusade website and asked her to please take everything off the website.  I am not sure but I think Franz has the manipulated trial website.  I have asked Franz several times to take everything off so I do not know why he has not.  I mailed Sherry’s letter last Sunday so she is just getting it probably.  Will you check in a couple of weeks and see if it is still there if so will you email her about getting it off?  Also check the other one and see if anything is there if so will you please email Franz and ask him to take it off.  Let me know if and when it is gone, OK.  I want it gone.
I got a letter in the mail box to Sal too.  She sent me a pamphlet about Richmond.  It blew me away.  It has pictures and tells about businesses.  I am not upon the address so some of them I can only guess where they might be.  I want to so bad go down there and see Sal and check the town out.  I am going back one way or another to get residency and get rid of my 1st name.  You do not know how bad I hate that name.  Then I want to go to Norwood, Wyoming and see what that town is like.  If I caint set myself up then I want to head north.  Paul I have made my mind up that I am not coming back to this shit hole.  That means my post conviction is going through.  I caint think any other way.
It is time for me to close this letter so I will sign off.  I just remembered Phillis was Donald’s 2nd wife and Lolane is his 3rd.  Do not know if you knew that or not.  Anyway, you two take care.  Mom

July Letter from Mom

This is the latest letter.  I edited quite a bit out of it to keep it from being offensive.

Paul,

I just wrote Jill back and sent Alyssa a card in thanks for the picture she drew me of Rojo.

So I take it you are all moved and settled in your place in Richmond. So you got another house?  Or an apartment?

Aint Karma a bitch!  I tried and tried to get that prick Carlson off my case but the bias gutless bastard was not man enough to take himself off my case.  So my 2 good friends Mother Nature and Father Time took care of my problem for me.  Those obits you sent me was a joke.  That is one reason why I will not have one.  What a crock of shit.

Anyhow, I called Dunlap the 9th and he was taking off for somewhere but said he was taking my file with him.  He said he found something else in my paperwork and was investigating it.  He wants everything over and done with by the end of this month so hopefully in a couple of weeks I will leave on transport to Jerome.  Another judge has not been appt yet.  SO I am keeping my fingers crossed that everything turns out for me OK.  Then I can get out of this screwed up state and start over again.  Hopefully I can get Sis to go with me.

I did not think Milo had the guts to answer my note.  I told you he was a gutless wonder.  I sent Doug a card for his birthday and asked him to please put the plot next to Dads in my name.  I said you would probably help if needed.  Will you?

Beings you are working in a bank now are you going to forget about law, lawyering, politics and all the corruption that goes along with it.  I hope so.  The system is broken and too far damaged to ever fix.  Besides DOC is one of the biggest money makers in the country.  Then you have all the parasites that suck the incarcerated for everything with commissary, phones, ect.  I would prefer you stay away from it.  Stick to banking.  That is where the money is.  Pun intended.  You can find out for me how to get off shore accts.

I do not remember you telling me about Ross.  Hope you have fund showing Donald around.  Thanks for the info on the Jonas’.  Does not the death certificate tell the cause of death.  What or why the person died.  Like Grandpa Jonas died of electrocution.  Did you find out anything about autopsy reports.  Are not they public record?  If so then you can get them.  Autopsy reports are used in court which is public.  I know at one time I had the autopsy report of the one who got herself dead in my hands but it made me sick reading what little I did read so that means probably both the attys had a copy.  Check it out or if you run across a lawyer ask and see.  I think Colleen had Dads.  Whatever, if you come up with anything let me know.

I still caint figure out why you want a timeline of my life.  You sure are not going to get it from anybody else.  1st accident happened about 4 days after I graduated from high school.  May 26, ’72 I think.  Doug Taylor and I were up in the mountains above Oakley.  I think we were up where we used to get wood.  We had spent the night up there in his Blazer without the top on.  Doug had been screwing around trying to be cute and found a gog and stuck the Blazer in it.  It took us most of the morning trying to find big rock to put under the tires to get out.  We stopped in Oakley at a little store and got a couple cans of soup and a big can of tomato juice.  Doug did not have a drivers license so we stayed off the main high by taking the road east that ran parallel to the highway.  Doug had one of those small sport steering wheels and the juice can got stuck under the steering wheel and the seat.  Before he could get it out the Blazer drifted to the left and hit a culvert and that had big chunks of cement thrown in it where the force of the water had washed away the dirt.  Doug bounced out 1st thing and only got a scrape on his shoulder.  I rode with the Blazer being thrown back and forth like a rag doll.  The Blazer came to a stop where it hit an uprise where the ground had been cut away.  I was thrown out and the barb wire broke my fall.  I slid along the wire a little ways and ended up upside down hanging by my leg.  When I lifted my head to try and figure out whatever, it was like someone threw a bucket of blood on my arm.  I kicked down and was wedged between the Blazer and the uprise ground.  The wreck crunched the front quarter fender passenger side.  I think there was front end damage.  I busted the back of the seat so it layed flat, took out the dash with my ribs and the windshield and frame with my head.  Then I spent time at U of U Medical Center trying to make my face look like my face again.  Before I got my last operation on my face I got my hand hurt at Del Monte.

Aug 17, 73 I went to Mt. Home Air Force Base to pick up Doug (brother).  When I got back and went to work I was late.  It was break time so I was giving the other workers their breaks.  I was by the buff line squatting down picking up stuff up off the floor.  I started to lose my balance and reached back to steady myself and grabbed the chain right in front of the sprocket which pulled my hand in.  I spent the next 4 years getting my hand rebuilt.  I lived on comp for the first 2 years.  That was when I moved back to Richmond and then Logan.  After they cut me off comp in between operations I worked odd jobs.  I worked as an automotive electrical mechanic in Mt. Home (76), canning kitchen in Rupert (76).  I went to Voc Rehab at CSI (77), was the 2nd to leave and get a job which was at Motor Parts in Burley (77).  I enlisted in the Army in the DEP (delayed entry program) in Dec 77, left in Mar 78 for boot camp at Ft. McClellan Alabama, then to Ft Knox Kentucky for AIT as 63C which is track vehicle mechanic.  Was ½ through my 13 wk training in 2 ½ wks when I said fuck it cause a faggot kept getting me in trouble cause I would not play her game.  I went to my DI (drill instructor), CO (commanding officer), JAG (lawyers), IG (Inspector General) for help and no one would help me so I got out on a medical discharge.  Came back to Colleen’s in Paul and started working for Circle A.

New Years Eve ’79-’80 I put my arm through the window at the shop, cutting my arm in half and almost bled to death.  DO not know if in 79 or after midnight in 80 when it happened.  Feb 10, ’80 wrecked my jeep out by Max beet dump.  Flipped jeep 7 times end over end and side ways.  My dog is buried at Max.  Everyone standing around said I was dead.  But I am too damn ornery to die.  The picture by the little red car is when I got in the wreck with Doug in ’72.

Does that fill in some of your spaces.  I been bunged up pretty good.  Some still bother me.  In the little house when I was first living in it I walked out the front door and ** Sunday punched me and kicked me in the back right where spind and hip bones come together and ruptured the spinal column.  Between the hematoma and spinal fluid that leaked out I had a lump the size of a soft ball cut in half.  Took about a year for my body to dissolve and absorb it.  One of the war wounds that will bother me til the day I die.

Love,

Mom